busybee

Tis the Season...

 

We were driving across town the other day, the little kids and I, when we passed a car dealership that had a BIG sign that displayed the temperature.  Alyza, decided to show off her smarts and said...

"Mom!  It's twenty-seven degrees Fahrenheit right now!"

"That's right, it is!"

"The F stands for Fahrenheit!"  she noted.

I decided to test her knowledge a bit, so I asked...

"Do you know what it stands for when there's a C instead of an F?"

There was a moment of silence, as she thought through her answer, and finally she responded...

"The C stands for COLD, Mom."

Of course it does!!

Holiday Traditions

Many years ago, just before Christmas, I sat down to read one of my favorite blogs, where I discovered that one of my favorite bloggers followed the holiday tradition of gifting her kids with new pajamas to wear to bed on Christmas Eve...  Being that I am a fan of all things fleece and flannel, I decided this was a tradition I needed to follow with my own family...  Done, and done.

It was several weeks ago, as I began my holiday shopping, when I realized that this year I was going to have to buy twice as many pairs of pajamas, as my "family" had doubled in size, and since I now have a co-conspirator in my Christmas endeavors, I decided that this year, rather than buying my own, I would let Jeff be the one to pick out MY new pajamas.  When I told him about my tradition, and how I wanted to include him and his boys, he was all for it. 

"Oh...  and also, that means you will have to pick out a pair for ME."  I explained.

"You trust me to pick out something for you to wear?"  He asked.

"It's pajamas Babe, I'm not picky.  Just pick out something you'd like to see me in."

And without realizing that I had not only closed the door, but walked straight into it, Jeff responded...

"So what you're telling me is that you will not be mad if I let you open an empty box?"

Only in my world could winning a contest be awkward.

Recently, my place of employment held a photography contest for employees.  Being that I do enjoy taking a photo every now & then, I decided to enter some of my favorite photos for consideration.  What the heck, right?  The winning photos were slated to be used in a 2010 calendar, the proceeds of which would be donated to a local charity.  Photography, AND donating to a good cause?  Now that is something I can wrap my arms around.  So I entered.  Done.

Maybe also I was a little interested in the $100 prize.  But that's beside the point.

I submitted a variety of different pics.  Nature, people, artsy fartsy, wedding, food....  Last week, I received the call that one of my photos had, in fact been selected to be a part of the calendar.  And so, without further adieu, I introduce you to my calendar baby...

Boy does that seem like a lifetime ago.  This is one of the very FIRST pictures I ever snapped with my brand new NIKON camera, and most certainly one of the first photos that made me want to become a "photographer" even MORE.   And still to this day, I laugh when I call myself a "photographer" because I am SO NOT A PHOTOGRAPHER.  I just like taking pictures.  I feel like "photographers" sip starbucks and wear berets and scarves, and that is just not me.  I have the utmost respect for real photographers, but I will never be one, and that is ok with me.  But, I digress... 

SO I WON.  It was very exciting to me!  I may have even danced a little jig in my office, but I'm not telling!  And, I wont lie to you - I was a little proud of me, that out of hundreds and hundreds of pics, mine was one of twelve that caught the eye of the judges.  So just HOW is it possible for this story to become awkward, you ask?  Well sit tight, because I'm about to tell you.

On the company website, an announcement was posted with all the names of the winners, and accompanying that list was a slide show of the winning photographs.  I was elated to get to see the other winning pictures.  I immediately clicked it, and scrolled through eleven GORGEOUS PHOTOGRAPHS from a group of colleagues that (now after seeing the pictures) I can't even believe I am a PART of!

I mean...  STUNNING scenery, adorable raccoons peeking through windows, close up's of birds sitting in berry trees, pops of color, BREATHTAKING panoramic shots of nature, majestic mountains, unbelievable red rocks from the west, GORGEOUS Italian alley-ways...  I mean, just photo after photo that took my breath away...

Aaaaaaaaand, a sleeping baby.

One.  One sleeping baby. 

Internet, my son is the only human in the calendar. 

It is essentially, a 2010 nature calendar, and HEY if you order now we'll toss in a sleeping baby for shits & giggles!

It felt awkward in a "one of these things is not like the others" kind of way.  Don't get me wrong, I am still absolutely elated to be part of this, but I couldn't help but hum that little Sesame Street tune as I closed the slide show window...

And so, yes...  While I can cross "win a contest" off my bucket list I have also further proven the point that anything I touch turns to awkward, and maybe I should start thinking of THAT as my talent.

Carry on.

Seriously, brain? Seriously?

Last night, I dreamed that Barack Obama was in my kitchen, and I was giving him a haircut.

 

Yeah, that's exactly what I said when I woke up.  Because, as much as I love the idea that my subconscious mind is trying to send me messages while I sleep, I am having a HARD TIME figuring out what it is trying to tell me with this one. 

I find it hard to believe I am to drop everything and become a celebrity beautician, but I suppose it's not entirely out of the realm.

Just sayin'.

A Tale of Two Christmas Trees

Important information to know before I dive into this MIND TWISTING STORY:  For MANY of Jeff's years as an adult, he has tagged & cut his own Christmas Tree at a local tree farm.  And for MOST of my adult life, I have had a faux tree...

So last night as we are climbing into bed, Jeff says, "I can't believe it's been a year since I cut down a tree at Rossview Farm."

I sat in silence for a moment before responding...  "Actually, it's been two... We got your tree at the tree stand near Everette Sports Center last year, remember?"

We then spent the next hour of our lives attempting to collectively uncover the truth.  I say this because I have distinct memories of picking out a tree with Jeff last year down to actual CONVERSATIONS that took place over trees being too short, and specific memories that tie the picking of the tree to the location that I mentioned (Everett Sports Center parking lot.)  Yet Jeff has distinct memories of tagging and cutting his tree last year, and even has irrefutable PROOF that he was at Rossview Farm to tag a tree, and has corroboration from both of his children. 

Yes, internet, we actually got out of bed at 11:30pm, came down stairs, interrupted BOTH kids, and interrogated them for answers!

All signs point that I am in the wrong.  Which is fine, I could accept being wrong...  But there are two things that I am POSITIVE about.  One is that I have never in my life been to Rossview Farm.  Two is that last year I picked out a tree with Jeff, and I REMEMBER HAVING CONVERSATIONS ABOUT A TREE THAT WAS TOO SHORT AT THE TREE STAND!

Friends...  Am I making up conversations in my head?!

To add fuel to the fire, Jeff vaguely remembersthat same conversation, he just thinks it happened at Rossview.  BUT I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO ROSSVIEW!

Several times throughout the conversation, we both exclaimed "WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?"  "Did we buy a tree for someone else?"  "Who would we have been buying a tree for?"  "Don't you think we'd remember if we were picking out a tree for someone else?" "BUT I REMEMBER THE CONVERSATION!"  "I know, I kinda do too, are you sure that wasn't at Rossview?"  "Babe, I'm positive, I have never been there, I don't even know where Rossview is." We went around and around in circles until our heads hurt so bad I eventually just rolled over and shut the light off and we went to sleep in silence.

We came up with the following list of possible explanations for this discrepancy... And I think we both feel pretty strong that no other explanation could be possible...
   
1. Alternate lives in a parallel dimension.
2. Glitch in the Matrix
3. Aliens!!! (Messing with us again!)

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!!

Where I prove to you how immature I still am.

Remember these guys?

Well, they were a hit last christmas.  They've been floating around the kids playroom ever since, most recently were part of an impromptu puppet show that all 6 of us in the Lewis/Johnson house took part in...Yesterday, that little yellow guy ended up in the livingroom, where Jeff's kids were playing volleyball with him.  No, internet, I do not know why.  That is just what boys do.

Later in the evening, as I was cooking dinner, I heard a ruckus in the livingroom and I peeked around the wall to see what was going on...

Jeff was pretending to pull the yellow monster out of the little kids' ears and they were in absolute hysterics about it.  Often times, what will happen is that Jeff will spend about 10 minutes doing something ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS to rile the kids all up and then he'll wander off and leave them pinging off the walls like little pin-balls.  This was no exception.

Alyza was so amused by the "monster in your ear trick" that she decided to try it for herself.  So she grabbed the little yellow monster and ran after Jeff.  Being that Jeff is approximately 47,000 feet taller than anyone in this house, she targeted the only thing within her reach, and SQUEALED...

"THERE'S A MONSTER IN YOUR PANTS!!!!!"

She then turned to me and said "MOMMY THERE'S A MONSTER IN JEFF'S PANTS!!  LOOK!!!"

I looked over at Jeff, who was looking at me, and I am pretty sure both of us were thinking:

"That's what she said."

reality check.

Often, as I sit to join Jeff for our morning cup of coffee...  he smirks at me, or chuckles, or avoids eye-contact all together...

I've never really understood why...

 

Until now.

irrational fear, as depicted by a 1st-grader.

1st graders are BUSY PEOPLE.  Let me just tell you about the pile of papers that has accumulated in my kitchen.  Every day, I pull a stack out of Alyza's backpack that is the size of Mt. Washington, I kid you not.

Every so often, as time allows, I rummage through the pile, seeing what she is learning, and how she is doing.  The other day, I discovered that Alyza has been learning about spiders.

I had to pause for a moment, when I saw the following worksheet...

I thought it rather interesting that although the instructions clearly say to draw just a spider in the box, she also included a person screaming, so I asked her about it.

Her response...

"Oh, That's YOU Mom.  I made you screaming..."

 

Phase One: complete.

We are officially shacked-up. 

Bodies are sore, spirits are good (despite short tempers, and stress-zits the size of Mt. Vesuvius), and there are a couple loose ends to tie-up (ie: cats that need temporary relocation.) But this 3-phase merger is one-third of the way complete, which really only means I am one-third of the way closer to sipping a glass of wine with my feet kicked up on my new sofa.

And that, my friends, is good news.

Amused.

When I saw this picture earlier today, I laughed so hard I cried.

At first, I giggled at the image of Jeff driving down the street in this truck.  Because, let's face it, a grown man towing a robotic pony - that's pretty funny.  But it's when you start to think about the innocent bystander who will witness this debacle pass him by, well that's when it really starts to be funny.  Because you know he's going to stop in his tracks, do a double-take, and try to make sense of the situation.

And no matter how hard he tries, unless he's got a 6-year-old daughter at home, it will just never make sense.

And that is what's funny about it.